Who you pair yourself with in life matters! I can only speak from the introvert side but I am sure this covers all people.
My husband is the ultimate pair for me! Everyone loves him, I am not always most popular. He is so great at welcoming people in our home, I like to cook. He tells me, go to that great coffee time with strangers, I say stay away from strangers. He wakes up and chooses to love this girl who hates talking on the phone and I wake up and choose to love that boy who constantly checks his phone to see if anyone has called.
Your pair is important. He loves me for who I am and cheers me along to becoming a better person. We laugh, cry, sing, and scream together for bad or good. Not always do I show my best to him. He usually gets the left overs from the day and my need for alone time comes most nights earlier than he would like...He loves me all the same. I don't always see his best, I love him all the more. We get to be real with each other but learn daily how love isn't rude, it is kind. Love isn't touchy feely all the time...it is hard work with lots of hard conversations. It is not for sissies!
I see too often people get married and then give up or have expectations about how love was supposed to look. They should have take the time while dating to see if this person would be your perfect pair. In the middle of the night when one child is vomiting, and another wakes up with poop from one end to the other, is this the person you want to be paired with? When you want a family so bad you ache but another month passes with a negative test, is this the person you want to be paired with? When your job is no more and food is running out, is this the person you want to be paired with? When personal struggles come into the picture for one of you...is this the person you want to be paired with? Ask more questions, and when you decide...LOVE HARD! It will rarely feel lovey, but laughter and team work will get you through most anything.
Kids need us. They need us to be a team. We need to be a pair and step up to the plate everyday. Make your relationship roots run deep with traditions and stories, talk about them often...make a wise decision before you marry and then teach your kids how to do the same thing.
Your pair will make or break you, be wise, not swept away.
8/26/2009
8/18/2009
Don't Touch Me
There was a show on the other day about how to keep your kids safe in the world of predators on children. One of the tips mentioned was don't make your kids hug people if they don't want to...big people can be scary to little kids, especially relatives they rarely see.
FINALLY, I thought! Someone understands me :). I will hug sometimes, people I like and feel comfortable with but other than that, hands off! I don't even really like shoulder rubs. Call me crazy but there is something about someone being all up in your personal space that I don't like. Remember when you were growing up and you liked a boy (girl). They would hold your hand and even if your hand went numb you wouldn't move because you wanted to keep holding their hand? So funny to think back on but even then, I was skeptical of being touched.
Being a mom has been a challenge in this category, especially while nursing! Kids want to touch you all the time. They pull on your clothes, want to be carried or held constantly, touch private places you would rather they don't touch, love to tickle and basically just hang on you. As the girls get old enough to understand I tell them to 'back off jack' (not in that exact phrase). They know that if they need a hug or want to sit on my lap, they need to tell me that they want it and not just invade my space. It works about 10% of the time :) I think my mom was similar. I remember for sure that we were not to touch the tops of her legs when she was sitting...I think it was a weird ticklish spot or something.
Well, my eldest is becoming a chip off the old block(s)! Today was her first day of kindergarten. All the other kids were slightly clingy and she cautiously ventured to the reading circle by herself. The teacher read the story "The Kissing Hand". It is the one about the raccoon who was going off to school and was going to miss his mother. So she kissed his hand so that he could stick it in his pocket for later. At the end he kissed her hand for the same reason. When the story was over, the teacher told the kids to say goodbye to the parents and then we were to leave for the rest of the morning. I went up to her and asked her if she wanted me to kiss her hand like the book and she said, "No, don't touch me!" I laughed inside as she said, "Just give me a hug". She wanted the reassurance of a hug but a kiss was too much for her :). I love her and I am so proud that she did great at school. If she doesn't like to be touched...well, I love that too! Hopefully that will carry over into middle and high school! Boys beware, my daughter will tell you "Don't touch me!"
FINALLY, I thought! Someone understands me :). I will hug sometimes, people I like and feel comfortable with but other than that, hands off! I don't even really like shoulder rubs. Call me crazy but there is something about someone being all up in your personal space that I don't like. Remember when you were growing up and you liked a boy (girl). They would hold your hand and even if your hand went numb you wouldn't move because you wanted to keep holding their hand? So funny to think back on but even then, I was skeptical of being touched.
Being a mom has been a challenge in this category, especially while nursing! Kids want to touch you all the time. They pull on your clothes, want to be carried or held constantly, touch private places you would rather they don't touch, love to tickle and basically just hang on you. As the girls get old enough to understand I tell them to 'back off jack' (not in that exact phrase). They know that if they need a hug or want to sit on my lap, they need to tell me that they want it and not just invade my space. It works about 10% of the time :) I think my mom was similar. I remember for sure that we were not to touch the tops of her legs when she was sitting...I think it was a weird ticklish spot or something.
Well, my eldest is becoming a chip off the old block(s)! Today was her first day of kindergarten. All the other kids were slightly clingy and she cautiously ventured to the reading circle by herself. The teacher read the story "The Kissing Hand". It is the one about the raccoon who was going off to school and was going to miss his mother. So she kissed his hand so that he could stick it in his pocket for later. At the end he kissed her hand for the same reason. When the story was over, the teacher told the kids to say goodbye to the parents and then we were to leave for the rest of the morning. I went up to her and asked her if she wanted me to kiss her hand like the book and she said, "No, don't touch me!" I laughed inside as she said, "Just give me a hug". She wanted the reassurance of a hug but a kiss was too much for her :). I love her and I am so proud that she did great at school. If she doesn't like to be touched...well, I love that too! Hopefully that will carry over into middle and high school! Boys beware, my daughter will tell you "Don't touch me!"
8/05/2009
Thinking, Thinking, Thinking
I am not sure if it is an introvert trait or just one I have but I seem to think all the time. I feel like my brain is in constant think mode. Let me give you an example of my thinking...
Is my thinking tied to my need to achieve something? I will need to think about it!
- Need to do laundry
- Must fold things in dryer
- Don't forget to spray stuff on the stains
- I need to get that school keepsake book
- Oh, pack up that backpack for school
- Is the baby crying
- I should check my email
- Ops, sort clothes first
- What's on the tv
- Fold cloths
- I would love to cut hair
- Check out barber sites
- I should start laundry
Is my thinking tied to my need to achieve something? I will need to think about it!
8/03/2009
Hovering Cameras
I am not hugely sentimental, though I respect getting pictures and video of a few important things in a person's life (first steps, dance recitals, first baseball game, etc). This art can go way too far though.
My oldest daughter took swimming lessons this summer. It was a class of 3 and 4 year olds. I completely understand taking a picture and possibly even some video at the beginning or end of the class. Now maybe it is my introvert side but I was totally annoyed by a few moms who took video of every class...14 classes! She would walk around the kids, get close to the water, etc. The poor teacher! The other kids had a hard time paying attention, not that it is easy for a young kid anyway. The daughter of this mother didn't even listen to the teacher after awhile because the mom was there to answer the questions...seriously, why did you sign the child up!
How interesting could that video be anyway. Dunk your face in the water, blow bubbles, jump in...the same stuff every day for 40 minutes. Not to mention, are you really going to watch it?!?! I was pretty annoyed not to mention my daughter was mad because this little girl was slowing everything down, so we switched her class. I still had to watch all of this happening but from a more funny angle since we didn't have to directly deal with it any more.
I think some people get to into "remembering the moment" as opposed to living the moment. I pray that I would teach my girls to live in the moment, take one or two pictures and write about it when you get home. Enjoy life from the front seat not from behind a lense!
My oldest daughter took swimming lessons this summer. It was a class of 3 and 4 year olds. I completely understand taking a picture and possibly even some video at the beginning or end of the class. Now maybe it is my introvert side but I was totally annoyed by a few moms who took video of every class...14 classes! She would walk around the kids, get close to the water, etc. The poor teacher! The other kids had a hard time paying attention, not that it is easy for a young kid anyway. The daughter of this mother didn't even listen to the teacher after awhile because the mom was there to answer the questions...seriously, why did you sign the child up!
How interesting could that video be anyway. Dunk your face in the water, blow bubbles, jump in...the same stuff every day for 40 minutes. Not to mention, are you really going to watch it?!?! I was pretty annoyed not to mention my daughter was mad because this little girl was slowing everything down, so we switched her class. I still had to watch all of this happening but from a more funny angle since we didn't have to directly deal with it any more.
I think some people get to into "remembering the moment" as opposed to living the moment. I pray that I would teach my girls to live in the moment, take one or two pictures and write about it when you get home. Enjoy life from the front seat not from behind a lense!
The Crying and Screaming of It All
When you have your first child, I think someone crying bothers you. When you have your second child, you learn to deal slightly with the crying because you don't have four arms. When the third baby comes along, what crying!
Most of the time I can tune our youngest's screams out (she has decided that I am the only one who can ever hold her or calm her, where was my vote in that decision!) while I tend to the other girls but every once in awhile, her crying, our 2 year olds screaming and the 4 year old asking me if she can cut paper is too much! I hate to admit it but I usually burst out a loud, "SERIOUSLY! Can't you see I am working on something here, COOL IT!" My brain can only handle so much noise. I am sure other moms can skip around and calmly ease their children into a lullaby but I am not one of those. I have to ramp up to be around people, part of being an introvert! A lot of people are really surprised when they hear that I am introverted but let me tell you that it takes A LOT! Needless to say, being with the kids all the time takes some working into but then add in the crying and screaming, Lord have mercy! The kicker is that our 2 year old has decided that tantrums are not enough when she doesn't get to buckle her own seat belt but a deep grovel and banging her head back and forth on her car seat makes a much better show. Almost hourly my mantra is "She is only 2, it doesn't last. She is only 2, it doesn't last."
Stand strong moms! The crying and screaming of it all will soon fade to a silent house aching for a screech or a cry...Just remember to look at them while they sleep, they are so cute and silent :)
Most of the time I can tune our youngest's screams out (she has decided that I am the only one who can ever hold her or calm her, where was my vote in that decision!) while I tend to the other girls but every once in awhile, her crying, our 2 year olds screaming and the 4 year old asking me if she can cut paper is too much! I hate to admit it but I usually burst out a loud, "SERIOUSLY! Can't you see I am working on something here, COOL IT!" My brain can only handle so much noise. I am sure other moms can skip around and calmly ease their children into a lullaby but I am not one of those. I have to ramp up to be around people, part of being an introvert! A lot of people are really surprised when they hear that I am introverted but let me tell you that it takes A LOT! Needless to say, being with the kids all the time takes some working into but then add in the crying and screaming, Lord have mercy! The kicker is that our 2 year old has decided that tantrums are not enough when she doesn't get to buckle her own seat belt but a deep grovel and banging her head back and forth on her car seat makes a much better show. Almost hourly my mantra is "She is only 2, it doesn't last. She is only 2, it doesn't last."
Stand strong moms! The crying and screaming of it all will soon fade to a silent house aching for a screech or a cry...Just remember to look at them while they sleep, they are so cute and silent :)
Kindergarten Here We Come!
Well, the dress rehearsal happened and we are now waiting for the first day. My lovely introvert self really shows up when we enter into new things like the school world. I walked right past all the sign up tables, are you kidding me! We went to the classroom, met the teacher, filled out some papers, and looked around...not too bad but the not knowing where we were going and PTO moms in crazy tie died shirts was a little stressful. I think that they forget their first time walking into a strange place with a little one who is nervous too. There were NO signs pointing me where to go and apparently I should have gotten an email telling me details and I am a bother because I didn't. What ever happened to a separate kindergarten welcome time? Then we could ask "dumb questions" like, where is the kindergarten playground where I am supposed to drop my kid off at? Seriously, will there be signs the first day of school.
Then I read in all the papers they gave us that there will be a time to meet the other kindergarten parents the first day. It is at a park by the school and if we need we can bring Kleenex. YIKES! Not only does it totally frighten me to have to go meet other people but they might be crying about dropping their kid off!?!?!? I pretty much have written that off. My husband thinks I should go to meet other people, I think I will send him. He likes that kind of thing plus they are serving coffee...he is the only coffee drinker in our house. I will let you know if I go.
I will try to be nice, I am sure play dates and sleepovers are coming up faster than I can imagine and it is probably good to know the parents for safety reasons. I will also volunteer for something in the classroom...maybe I can organize something (I love to organize) and then that will get me to meet other moms/dads in a less weird way...I will try!
Then I read in all the papers they gave us that there will be a time to meet the other kindergarten parents the first day. It is at a park by the school and if we need we can bring Kleenex. YIKES! Not only does it totally frighten me to have to go meet other people but they might be crying about dropping their kid off!?!?!? I pretty much have written that off. My husband thinks I should go to meet other people, I think I will send him. He likes that kind of thing plus they are serving coffee...he is the only coffee drinker in our house. I will let you know if I go.
I will try to be nice, I am sure play dates and sleepovers are coming up faster than I can imagine and it is probably good to know the parents for safety reasons. I will also volunteer for something in the classroom...maybe I can organize something (I love to organize) and then that will get me to meet other moms/dads in a less weird way...I will try!
What Does Introvert Mean to Me
When I looked up introvert in the dictionary, it said a person or community who looks inward. I suppose this is a good definition. I usually describe it as a person needing to recharge by themselves and an extrovert recharges around people. Whatever the meaning, I get a lot of people not believing me that I am an introvert.
Little do they know, I have to ramp up to go be around people and then take a long nap when I get home. Having kids has not really helped with the get alone to recharge step of my craziness though. Thankfully we have 2 hours every afternoon that I guard for nap and alone time. As much as the girls love to be around people, I find they do so much better if they get time alone. By watching them, I have learned what I need to do to better recharge.
When they are alone in their rooms, they process what has happened that day. One will sing songs about the day and stack blocks or rings. Another will have all her animals lined up and she will have a play to act out what has happened in her world throughout the day. Perhaps I should line up my pillows for a play during nap time :). In fact, the animal line up child told me at the store the other day that she discussed it with her animals, and they decided that she needed a new backpack. Well, since the animals said ... so funny!
I am going to try and process my day during my rest time this week and see what happens. I have a feeling that I will fall asleep or my mind will go crazy as I remember all the activities I didn't get done. Try I will though. Perhaps it will lead me into a deeper time with God as I come to him to confess, thank, and praise for all I have noticed during the day.
Reflection in the middle of the day - sounds good!
Little do they know, I have to ramp up to go be around people and then take a long nap when I get home. Having kids has not really helped with the get alone to recharge step of my craziness though. Thankfully we have 2 hours every afternoon that I guard for nap and alone time. As much as the girls love to be around people, I find they do so much better if they get time alone. By watching them, I have learned what I need to do to better recharge.
When they are alone in their rooms, they process what has happened that day. One will sing songs about the day and stack blocks or rings. Another will have all her animals lined up and she will have a play to act out what has happened in her world throughout the day. Perhaps I should line up my pillows for a play during nap time :). In fact, the animal line up child told me at the store the other day that she discussed it with her animals, and they decided that she needed a new backpack. Well, since the animals said ... so funny!
I am going to try and process my day during my rest time this week and see what happens. I have a feeling that I will fall asleep or my mind will go crazy as I remember all the activities I didn't get done. Try I will though. Perhaps it will lead me into a deeper time with God as I come to him to confess, thank, and praise for all I have noticed during the day.
Reflection in the middle of the day - sounds good!
I Don't Like to Play
It is natural for little kids to play, right?? Well, I don't like to play. I am not sure that I ever did. My mom remembers me getting all the kids together to do shows or learn gymnastics. There was also the library that I put together a Dewey Decimal system for and the pretend city of my yard that I would ride around my bike on. As for playing...I don't think so.
My girls love to play and I don't like to play with them. Not because I don't like them but if I am going to play, the conversation will be more than likely in my head and it will be the story I create. I feel bad for not wanting to play with toys for hours on end. If there is a purpose to the toy, like learning colors, I am all over it but just playing, yuck! This makes me very thankful for my not so introverted husband. He likes to be crazy with the girls and play all sorts of stuff. He is a great babysitter and let's just be honest...I am a horrible babysitter! I always have been.
I say we forget playing and organize something!
My girls love to play and I don't like to play with them. Not because I don't like them but if I am going to play, the conversation will be more than likely in my head and it will be the story I create. I feel bad for not wanting to play with toys for hours on end. If there is a purpose to the toy, like learning colors, I am all over it but just playing, yuck! This makes me very thankful for my not so introverted husband. He likes to be crazy with the girls and play all sorts of stuff. He is a great babysitter and let's just be honest...I am a horrible babysitter! I always have been.
I say we forget playing and organize something!
Why Confess
I am not a writer and I could care less about reading what people write about so why did I decide to start blogging???
Well, I think a lot and often wonder if I am the only one who thinks the way I do, so I decided to start writing about some things I run into and see what kind of response I get. All sorts of topics will be covered and I would love suggested topics to talk about.
Welcome to the confessing of it all!
Well, I think a lot and often wonder if I am the only one who thinks the way I do, so I decided to start writing about some things I run into and see what kind of response I get. All sorts of topics will be covered and I would love suggested topics to talk about.
Welcome to the confessing of it all!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)